The Corporate Manifesto

The Commandments:

  1. Thou shall never question thy superiors, even if those are clearly in the wrong.
  2. If ever in doubt, see no 1.
  3. If thou care about thy performance bonus, thou shalt be wise to swallow thy ego and kiss thy superior’s ass as if those are god’s gift to this Earth. At all times.
  4. Thou shall always be on time and never late. No excuses. If thy superior spots thou walking into the office late on one occasion then thou shalt stay behind an hour for every minute delay in getting to the office as penance. Thou shall make sure all notice thy testament to thy’s ultimate corporate devotion.
  5. If thou is late on more than 3 consecutive occasions thou shalt forget about thy’s end-of-year performance bonus, irrespective of thy actual performance and value over the entire year.
  6. Thou can be sure that thou has no friends in the workplace. The very concept of comradeship does not exist within the corporation. Alliances are temporary and formed out of necessity.
  7. Thy and thy cohorts utility and subservience is the only thing that matters.
  8. Influence = Power. Thy ultimate value within the organisation is wholly dependent on thy following and thy skill to influence others.
  9. Thou shall clearly identify the Sociopaths, the Clueless and the Losers.
  10. Thou shall get into the good graces of the Sociopaths (for how to see no.1), embrace the Clueless and learn how to use the Losers.
  11. Thou shall always take the side of the more powerful and influential Sociopath in any endeavour and disagreement.
  12. Thou shall clearly identify thy enemies.
  13. Thou shall keep thy enemies very close.
  14. Thou shall keep thy enemies very close. Thy enemies are going to be the ones grooming unsuspecting co-conspirators to overthrow thy position.
  15. Thou shall avoid intimate relationships in the workplace.
  16. Thou shall avoid socialising with anyone below thy in rank. Anyone below thy rank, especially ones of opposite sex which are a special breed, will do anything to get up the ladder inclusive of creating false drama and accusations if it will grant them points with someone higher up who despises thy being.
  17. Thy enemies are waiting to strike at all times, ready to dethrone thou without hesitation and any semblance of remorse.

One Comment

Gray March 27, 2020 Reply

Keep writing. Love it so far.

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